BEST FRIEND FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX



It is a tough world we live in and we always need a friend to count on, to talk to and to be there to listen to us. The question is can we only have a friend from the same gender or is it possible to have a good mate from the opposite sex?

Do friendships from the opposite sex always turn into relationships? This is the problem we're trying to investigate. What are the limits that say that the person you regard as a friend is only a friend and nothing more? It's difficult to say. To make things worse, there is always the problem of how to explain to parents, especially if you're a girl and your best friend is a guy. Parents sometimes do not accept this. Mothers in some cases believe that if their daughter is talking to a guy then he is special to her and that she's in love. Why don't they understand that it is a totally normal relationship? Maybe it is due to the fact that the method of thinking is not westernized. Our parents have been brought up in a way that doesn't accept two best friends from the opposite sex. We all know that friends from a different gender do exist. So, I put on my sports shoes and I went on a journey to search for answers. I was amazed by the results I got. Read on and find out if it is possible to have a best friend from the opposite sex.

Guys:

"Yes, there is no problem, the sexes are equal" C.D. 18

"No problem, but I think such friendship should start from childhood" A.L. 17

"No, I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to a girl about personal stuff" K.H 17

"No, because there's guy stuff that you can't talk to girls about" E.K. 19

"Yes, certainly, I have girls as best friends."

"Yes, but you can't tell them everything you can tell a guy" M.D 19

"Yes, because there are stuff that you can tell a girl but not a guy because girls are more understanding" R.A. 18

"A girl as a best friend? No way, girls never keep a secret" S.S. 18

"Girl, guy, no difference, as long as I have someone I can trust to talk to" A.R 17

"As long as we have the same interests and feel comfortable talking to each other, no problem" A.G. 19

Girls:

"No, there are certain things that a girl needs a girl to talk to about" C.M 18

"Yes and no. I'm neutral I guess. I have two best friends, a girl and a guy" C.R. 18

"Definitely yes, I learnt from experience that it's possible" N.N. 19

"Of course. Guys understand me and give me true opinions" H.S. 19

"Yes, definitely. Girls usually become jealous of each other and so, they do not give true opinions, but a guy gives a true point of view" R.A. 18

"Sometimes it's possible but I think it's natural for a girl to need a girl to talk to" A.L. 18

"A best friend is someone who is there for you, regardless of sex" S.M. 17



A Girl's Personal Experience:

At the age of seventeen,

I had a guy best friend who was

also a relative of mine. We were both students at the same faculty and in the same section. We stayed best friends for two years. During those two years, he was the only one who understood me and listened to my problems. He gave me better advice than my girlfriends. It was easy for me to get advice from girls but getting it from a guy was much better. It gives you a clear perspective of what guys think of girls' problems. On the other hand, he used to tell me about his problems and enjoys listening to advice from a girl's point of view. We helped each other to help ourselves. The most important thing I admired in him was his encouraging belief in God. He helped me to become a stronger believer. When I used to tell my girlfriends that I have a guy as a best friend, they always thought of someone who looked like a hunk, a Tom Cruise look alike; when on the contrary, I didn't choose him for his looks, but for his character and his soul. I'll never regret the time I spent with him as a best friend, and if I get the chance to have a best friend again, I'll definitely choose him again. The only problem is living in Cairo and the community causes a friendship like this to stop. It's okay to continue during high school years, but once those years are over, our society won't allow it. It may have been difficult for me to end this relationship but I was forced by outsiders not to continue because living in a Middle Eastern community does not allow such a friendship. It's thought of as unrespectable. It is completely the opposite of western thinking, where they have no problem with relationships like this between males and females. What controls us here is religion and how people talk when they see something. Maybe in years to come when I get married and have children, if my daughter, for example, goes through the same experience, I will personally stop this relationship at a certain age. Everything has to stop sometime.



A Guy's Personal Experience:



My experience began at the age of fifteen. I first met her in class. She asked me to join her in the class and this was the beginning. It took a year for us to become close friends. She was like a sister to me. It was to the extent that her parents trusted me to visit her even if they weren't in the house. We used to study together, go out together, and buy things together. We called each other two or three times daily. Something that may surprise people was the fact that I was dating another girl at the same time. The great thing was that the two girls were not jealous of each other. They both understood what each one of them meant to me. She stood beside me in the time I was down which was when I broke up with my girlfriend. She helped me overcome my distress and sadness. Then we got together so often that for a moment I thought she could become my girlfriend but this was only for a split second, after which I realized that she could only be sister, and that I could have no other feelings for her than just brotherly feelings. The friendship began to deteriorate when guys wanted to date her, she started to spend lots of time with her boyfriend and I felt left out. She couldn't keep the balance between her boyfriend and me. This was the end for a very special relationship. We were arguing all the time and things didn't work out. I regret that I don't have her as a friend anymore. We spent so many good times and special moments together, it was a great. I remember her saying once, "We'll still be best friends" but she didn't mean it.







BOY/ GIRLFRIEND RELATION SHIP

In reply to a book named "All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise". Thanks to all women for letting us be jerks. God, help me to handle this topic without offending any girls!
I care about him/her, I admire him/her, I like him/her, I'm satisfied with him/her, and so on. We quickly translate these words into "Love" without ever thinking about the nature of the relationship. Is it love or just admiration? That's what makes teens "fall in love" oh sorry, I mean "fall in trouble".
Love may be a four-letter word or the greatest of the trio of faith, hope and love, or it may appear as a light spot in a heavy story. Anyway, it's always there, but unfortunately most of us see it in the wrong way. It takes time to know if you really love someone, so what about your partner?! We understand love in the wrong way and even call it the wrong name.
I know that teens always want to date, but not to the extent of calling their date "My Love" or "My boyfriend/girlfriend" to imitate westerners without any thought! I don't know when this kind of relationship started to enter our lives! Has love become just a new name for friendship? Is it a new fashion? And why do we fall in love so easily? Why do most of us take it as a game? We'll discuss all these questions and most of us will find him/herself in the scenarios I'll give.
The scenario starts when a boy meets a girl... he finds her attractive and thinks, "She seems nice! It would be fun to go out with her!" But when a girl meets a boy whom she finds attractive and who just cares about her, she calls all her friends to discuss his boyfriend potential. The poor guy thinks it's just friendship, while she's analyzing the possibilities of their future together!
However sometimes a boy makes a girl feel that he loves her and after she falls in love with him, he says: "Oh sorry, why do you take it so seriously?!" She then realizes that he was just trying to have fun. Maybe there's a misunderstanding but I think that we understand it in a wrong way. I don't mean that boys are either angels or jerks, and I don't mean that girls are foolish, but I want to say that these scenarios take place.







HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY

Technology has reached everything everywhere, even within the art of communication. I mean, you can e-mail a big parcel to anybody anywhere you want. That parcel could contain anything, even a whole room's furniture. The only thing that could not be e-mailed in that parcel, although you truly wish you could, is your family. Well, some of you might have the talent to do that, you know? Just kidding! You can't escape them. They are a part of your life and a reality that you have to cope with. The solution is very easy but it needs cooperation from both sides: teens and parents. It's the art of communication, my friend. If you are smart enough to manage that, I can assure you that you'll be living in a paradise! So here are some tips that might help you start your journey towards a successful family life.
Embarrassing Families
You just met that cool girl, you almost worked your way to her, and began chatting showing her your extra cool side, that's great! No no, that was actually nothing, my score was higher last time (you had beaten your friend at tennis 5-love), you know, and ooooops, your mom pops in! "What's the sweetie's name darling? Won't you introduce us? You're such a bad boy! I'm proud of you because you lost so much weight. You seem to bring luck sweetie, my little boy won the game today for the first time in his life" and splaaaash, you're gone!!! Well, lots and lots of these situations happen to everyone everyday (but that was a little exaggerated, we have to be fair). Funny nicknames, messing with friends from the other sex, and many others, yet, you have to know that
your parents are acting completely normal, they really don't mean any harm. It's the problem of realization that we're dealing with again, and as we said, it's hard for adults to cope with our fast development.
Communication is very important in these situations. In fact, it is the only way to get off the hook. Start by letting them know that you completely accept their love and that you're extremely happy with it. Then start telling them that you really appreciated what they said in a certain situation, and do a lot of that. Then try to explain to them that other guys may not understand that, and they may call you a sissy or something, and that you have such a special relationship that can hardly be understood. Go on with that and you will really be surprised. No matter what happens, never ever in your life mention the word embarrassing or any similar word that might hurt their feelings.
Siblings Rivalry
You have his T-shirt, he hides your handbag, you go tell his girlfriend about the romantic phone call he received yesterday, he vows to squash you socially. When will all this end?! Fighting between teen brothers and sisters is normal and easy to deal with. But the point is that we can deal with the causes and erase the whole problem. The parents control most of these causes, like giving freedom to males more than females, or preferring a son or a daughter to the other and making it obvious in their treatment, or other causes like jealousy from youngers or elders and vice versa, and lots and lots of other stuff.
First of all, it's completely normal. Again, the most important solution is to Talk to them. Try to be frank; in other words, an open book. Make sure you make them feel that they know mostly everything about you so they can trust you. Never lie to them. Talk to them about your friends and make them feel that you are responsible enough by choosing them. Also try to tell them your problems and let them know that you want them to take part in finding the solution, and that their advice is very important to you.